De senere år er jeg blevet opmærksom på en seksuel side af mig selv, som jeg egentlig ikke har været særlig bevidst om. Det er ikke første gang bloggen bevæger sig ind på emnet- det handler nemlig om SM.
Når talen falder på SM, tror jeg hurtigt folk der ikke kender meget til emnet (bare rolig, jeg selv er langt fra ekspert), ofte forbinder det med en ret kinky fetich, langt fra “normal” sex. Noget der indebærer tæsk og smerte. Det kan det naturligvis også være, MEN som det nu er med så meget, er der naturligvis utrolig mange grader og afskygninger af SM. Og mon ikke netop denne fetich, har oplevet klar fremgang i takt med hele Fifty Shades bølgen?
Først og fremmest vil jeg starte med at påpege at emnet for eget vedkommende, hverken handler om at blive trukket rundt på alle fire i hundesnor, pisket til blods, ydmyget ved at blive tisset på, eller hvilke fordomme man ellers kunne forestille sig SM kunne bære med sig.
Som i måske allerede ved, står SM for sadist og masochist. Hvor sadisten tænder på at udøve smerte, lyster masochisten omvendt at mærke den. Allerede her, tyder det på at der er forskellige måder at udøve eller tænde på denne fetich. Man kan således godt være til SM, uden at nyde smerte eller omvendt.
Ved hjælp af lidt research fandt jeg ud af, at det jeg b.la. finder spændende er hvad der betegnes BDSM. Her er fokus bondage og fiksering, og ikke i den hårde ende.
Dengang jeg mødte M, var det absolut ikke første gang jeg oplevede at blive bundet. Til gengæld var det først her, jeg for alvor begyndte at finde det interessant. M og jeg eksperimenterede ikke med vilde knuder eller kunstneriske greb, som man ellers hører bondage også kan være, og for øvrigt et område jeg godt kunne tænke mig at blive klogere på. Næ nej, her var vi simpelt ude i, at M bandt mig til sengen så arme og ben var spredt ud til hver side. Nogle gange på ryggen, andre på maven. Hvad der efterfølgende skete kunne variere…
Ofte var denne seance, langt mindre dominerende end man måske først ville forestille sig. Det startede som regel med, at jeg kærligt og blidt blev nusset og berørt overalt, til min krop ganske enkelt skælvede og sidst skreg på mere. Det var enormt intenst. Ind i mellem blev også massageolien inddraget, hvilket der absolut heller ikke kunne klages over. M nød at berøre hver en del af min krop til den glinsede af olien, mens han bevidst gemte de mere intime steder til allersidst. Behøver jeg fastslå hvilken pirrende oplevelse dette kan være?
En af de gange der står klarest i min erindring, er en bloggen før har været inde på (Da pisken kom frem), nemlig nytårsnat 2016. På trods af rigtig mange gode seksuelle oplevelser med min x, må dette være en af de mest intime.
Seancen startede som det før var sket. Bundet på maven til sengen, blev hver en millimeter af min krop nænsomt berørt. Denne gang skulle der dog vise sig at komme andre elementer i spil. For sjov (og lidt alvor) havde jeg på et marked erhvervet mig en ridepisk, som endnu ikke havde været i brug. M lænede sig ind over mig, lagde hånden om min hals, strammede en smule, ”hvor er pisken” hviskede han. Tøvende men mest forventningsfuldt, besvarede jeg spørgsmålet. Han rejste sig, men var hurtigt tilbage. Kærtegnene af min krop, blandede med blide kys fortsatte. Det var en pirrende fornemmelse ikke at kunne følge med i hvad der foregik bag mig. Så mærkede jeg det! Klask lød det pludseligt, da første slag med pisken ramte min balle. En brændende fornemmelse bredte sig, men blev hurtigt afløst af blide hænder der kærtegnede, hvad jeg forestiller mig har været en gigantisk rød plamage.
Det kan godt være jeg tidligere sagde, at det var bondage parten og ikke smerten der tiltalte mig. Men ved nærmere eftertanke tyder noget på, at vi nok nærmere er ude i kombination. For denne situation tændte mig. Det handlede ikke kun om smerten som pisken kortvarigt påførte. Det var hele situationen. For det første underkastelsen, jeg var i hans magt, han var den dominerende part, der kunne gøre præcis som det passede ham. For det andet var det forventningen og spændingen, ikke at vide hvad det næste blev, hvornår næste klask kom. Pisken vandrede i glidende bevægelse over min krop, og nydelsen kunne brat ende hvert sekund det skulle være og erstattes med smerte…
Når jeg tænker tilbage, tror jeg faktisk altid en del af mig har fundet dominans tiltalende. Som en kvinde der stålfast står ved sine holdninger og ikke er bange for at ytre dem, kan der være noget ganske befriende i at opgive kontrollen og fuldstændig give sig hen til den andens magt. Samtidig er der bare noget utrolig maskulint over en dominerende mand. Det jeg kan finde frækt er, når han stramt river fat i nakkehåret på dig og tvinger dit ansigt ned til hans. Eller hvad med når man er i gang med en vild ridetur, og en syngende lussing pludselig tildeles? Er der noget bedre end når han bagfra giver et ordentligt klask i røven? Ikke mange mænd, kan i denne stilling lade være med at gribe chancen når den byder sig.
Når det så er sagt betyder det ikke at sex skal være sådan hver gang, overhovedet ikke. Som de fleste kvinder, nyder jeg i den grad en blid og hed omgang elskov, findes der noget mere intenst? Under sådanne omstændigheder ville en syngende lussing måske forekomme upassende.
Sidst men ikke mindst vil jeg fastslå at det ikke resolut er mig der skal domineres. For det første kan det være ganske ophidsende at være den der binder ham, og i det hele taget bare er i besiddelse af magten. Samtidig har jeg da oplevet at være så opstemt og grebet af stemningen i et hedt øjeblik, at det pludselig var mig der smak ham en lussing. Er det ikke sjovt hvordan vi mennesker kan vække vidt forskelligt begær i hinanden? Eller bringe sider frem, vi ikke anede at besidde? Nogle underkaster du dig hurtigt, mens det med andre nærmest kan blive en kamp om hvem der er i kontrol. Det er vidst ikke for sjov man siger at sex er et dyrisk instinkt…
105 Comments
Super lækker læsning 😉
SM er nemlig rigtig mange ting. Det er synd der ofte er store fordomme forbundet med denne fetish, og at man nærmest skal fremstilles som unormal hvis man tænder på det.
Fin godnathistorie og inspiration 🙂
Det er spændende læsning. Jeg er helt sikkert selv til denne fetish . Jeg er både til dominans og at blive domineret. Mest det sidste faktisk. Tænder også en hel del på diverse kinky uniformer.
Så vidt jeg ved, så er BDSM en ret udbredt kink. Det er snarere ekstrem smerte som hører til sjældenhederne. Fx at blive pisket til blods, eller at få stukket et kateder op i urinrøret på penis. Psykologisk forskning bekræfter at en meget stor del af befolkningen tænder på disse typer seksuelle lege i en mild form.
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